im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
