based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
where does the pee come out of this thing
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
