end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
