Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
