I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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