They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
