You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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