? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You pole danced in your parka.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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