My liver just broke up with me...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
