They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
