she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
