Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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