I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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