and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
