The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
