bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
