A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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