you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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