I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
