I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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