i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We named our party play list daddy issues
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
