omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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