where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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