all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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