I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
