What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
