I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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