Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
