all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
