Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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