I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
