i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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