highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
