it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
