u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
