i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
