I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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