If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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