she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My vagina is very pro this idea
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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