he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize