Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
