I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
