he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
