he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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