Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
