I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
