Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
