then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
