Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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