I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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