wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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