Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
