It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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