I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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