He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
